Drunken Night
by PimpedOutGreenEars
Summary: Ferb drinks to forget how he feels about Phineas, not that it ever works. Now Phineas wants to know what the drinking is about. Will Ferb crack? Probably. PhineasxFerb. Oneshot.


**Drunken Night**

**Author's Note: It's been awhile since I wrote Phineas and Ferb, which is sad, I love them together. Anyway let me know what you think! Also Ferb is about 17 in this, while Phineas is about 15.**

He's glad there's no line as he runs into the bathroom, quickly shutting the door behind him. He just manages to grasp the porcelain throne before he vomits violently. He watches as the content of his stomach empty's quickly and against his will.

He knows he shouldn't have drank this much. He knows every time that he shouldn't drink this much; but he never drinks any less. Hell, if he can help it he drinks more.

_Brothers._

The word manages to make him heave impossibly harder.

He doesn't even remember how the topic came up. Who the hell talks about their brother when they're at a party? He doesn't really remember, but he knows someone does.

The gagging stops for a minute as he lifts himself up to lean against the wall adjacent to the toilet.

Sometimes Ferb Fletcher hates himself. Probably more often than sometimes.

His head is spinning; it does that when he's this drunk. He feels like he's always this drunk.

_Brothers._

The thought sends him flying back to the toilet for a second round of vomiting. The alcohol always burns more coming up than it did going down. He thinks it's the punishment God deems worthy of people's over indulgence in such an unholy substance. Of course Jesus drank wine. So maybe the substance isn't unholy, so much as the over indulgence is.

God, he's a philosophical bastard when he's drunk. He hates being drunk. Why does he drink?

_Brothers._

Oh yeah. That.

He finishes what he hopes will be his last round of retching and again moves away from the toilet. The smell of his puke makes him feel even drunker than he actually is. He weakly reaches for the silver handle and flushes the toilet, feeling a little relieved when the smell goes away with the rushing water.

He lays his head against the wall and shuts his eyes.

_Brothers._

Yeah. He gets it.

He doesn't understand why the infernal thought plagues him even in his drunken state.

He knows his feelings are wrong. He knows he shouldn't look at Phineas that way. Bloody hell he knows!

It's that stupid word that always breaks him though. _Brothers. _They aren't even blood brothers! God, it's so unfair! But he knows it's all the same to Phineas. To him they're as good as blood brothers.

God damnit! It isn't bloody fair!

He loves that he grew up beside Phineas. He hates that he grew up beside Phineas.

He loves that he knows him like no one else ever will. He loves that he spends more time with him than anyone else. He loves that Phineas puts him above everyone else and always makes his opinions heard.

He hates that Phineas only sees him as a brother. He hates that Phineas can't read how he feels; it's the only thing he can't tell about Ferb. He hates that he has to be in such close quarters with him every day, but he can never just say how he feels.

He's got it so bad for his brother; he as for so long. From the moment he saw him, he saw him shine.

He saw the way people loved him and gathered around him. He's so easy to love. That's why Isabella loves him. He can't even be mad at the girl for it; not when he wants him even more than she does.

It's the way Phineas can take any vision he presents and bring it to life. Ferb can build them, but Phineas is the one who makes him want to, who makes it worth it. He lives and breathes for Phineas. Because Phineas has the most gorgeous fulfilled look on his face after a day of work. Because his deep blue eyes sparkle when he's happy. His voice radiates warmth, and Ferb just wants it all to himself.

It's gotten rather pathetic.

That's why he drinks so heavily whenever he can get away with it.

He hates thinking about it. He hates dealing with it. He just wants to get drunk enough to forget about it.

He never does. He doesn't know why he keeps trying.

He feels like he is going to vomit again when Vanessa walks into the bathroom. He almost forgot she came with him tonight.

"Phin has been calling." She says as she kneels down beside him and holds out his phone. He always gives her his phone at the beginning of the night; he's always feared he'd be a drunken dialer.

"I don't want to talk to him." Ferb says, but grabs his phone anyway. It starts ringing right after.

"You never do." Vanessa says as she runs her hand across his cheek.

They sort of have a thing, he and Vanessa. Sort of. Things haven't been talked about, not really. Nothing's official between them. But he's comfortable with her. He doesn't flinch away from her touches. He thinks she's beautiful. She is a few years older, but that tends to work out for them because Ferb feels years older than he actually is.

"Why do you always avoid him when you're drunk?" '_You never ignore him when you're sober',_ Is what she means to say. "What are you so afraid of saying?" That is what she means.

"I don't know." He answers as he leans his face into her touch, making his jade green bangs go into his face. His phone stops ringing.

She pushes his hair out of his face and wipes his lips with her thumb.

"Thanks." He mutters.

His phone is ringing again.

"This is the sixth time he's called. You should talk to him." Vanessa says as she stands up.

"I don't want him to hear me like this." Ferb mumbles as he looks at his phone.

"He's not stupid Ferb, he knows you're drunk. Either stop getting so wasted or start learning to deal with it." Vanessa says standing up. "And answer your phone." _He deserves that from you._ She then walks out the bathroom door, locking it behind her. He likes that she doesn't sugarcoat it.

He takes a deep breath before flipping his phone open. "Hey Phin."

"_I've been calling." _Phineas says. It's not a relieved voice, he knows that much.

"S'what Vanessa said." Ferb says as he rubs his head. He's never wanted to be sober so badly.

"_Why did Vanessa have your phone?"_ Phineas asks in an even tone.

"I'm not much one for talking at the moment." His head hurts. He doesn't usually say a word when Phineas calls him. Phineas talks, he listens, and somehow Phineas knows exactly what he's thinking. When he's drunk he can barley figure out what he means, let alone Phineas.

There are always so many thoughts circling through his head, like a big jumbled maze. He's not quiet because he has nothing to say, he's quiet because he has so much he wants to say, but never knows how to begin.

Phineas always knows how to pick Ferb's brain and offer up the thoughts that are the most important for the situation. It's how he manages to function. Phineas says it's because Ferb's too smart, because he thinks about things more deeply than others can.

Ferb thinks it's annoying, and somebody's idea of a joke.

"_You're drunk." _Phineas replies. There is no surprise in his voice, only the confidence of someone who knew the situation before they so much as picked up the phone.

"I know." Ferb says looking up at the bathrooms white ceiling. Why is the bathroom so white? It hurts his drunken eyes.

"_How bad is it?"_ Phineas asks.

Ferb doesn't answer.

"_I can pick you up."_ Phineas tells him.

"It's not that bad," Ferb gives in. "I just don't want to talk to you when I'm like this." It sounds harsh. He didn't want it to. But he's drunk and Ferb isn't taking the time he usually would to think through his thoughts before speaking.

"_I don't care that you're drunk. I just want you to come home." _Phineas is alone tonight. Mom and dad are out of town at an auction; Ferb thinks it's for antique lamp shades, or something along those lines. Meanwhile Candace is at college, but she's supposed to be coming to the house tomorrow to make sure the boy's are alright, although at their age it's really unnecessary.

He knows Phineas doesn't mind being alone, he's just worried about Ferb. He's a little worried himself.

"I'll be home in the morning before Candace." Ferb says ready to end their conversation.

" _Why can't you come home to sleep it off? I'll be quiet and let you sleep, I'll bring you coffee and an Advil in the morning, and I'll leave your sunglasses on the nightstand. Just come home." _Phineas sounds slightly more desperate now, but it still doesn't sway Ferb.

"I don't want you to see me like this." Ferb says sternly.

"I don't care! I'm fifteen Ferb! I know what a drunk person looks like, and I know how to deal with it! Vanessa shouldn't be the one taking care of you Ferb, I should! I'm your-"

"DON"T YOU DARE! Don't you dare even say it!" Ferb knows he's too angry, he shouldn't be so upset. "…Just don't Phin." He says trying to calm himself.

There's silence on the phone, and if it weren't for the sound of breathing on the line, Ferb would think Phineas hung-up on him.

"_What did I do?"_ The voice is so quiet, it almost doesn't sound like him.

"You didn't do anything," He says as he pushes his hair back. "It's me." Ferb says. He knows as soon as he says it that he shouldn't have. He can feel Phineas reading him through the phone.

"…_Please come home." _Phineas says, and Ferb isn't quite sure if Phineas understands or not. He sighs.

"Yeah. Be there soon." Ferb says before hanging up and pushing his phone in his jacket pocket.

The effort it takes to lift himself off the floor is pathetic, but his drunken limbs have never been the most stable mode of transportation. He shakily makes his way to the bathroom door and manages to unlock it before he opens it up.

He walks out and lets the man standing by the door inside; he's probably been waiting there for quite some time.

He makes his way down the stairs keeping his eyes peeled for Vanessa; it's difficult in his drunken state because every brown haired girl in the house looks like her from a distance. He tries to focus on only the girls in black clothing and eventually finds her drinking a beer with some friends.

Even though he's drunk he notices that Vanessa is watching her ex, Johnny, out of the corner of her eyes. He's dancing with some goth girl in a miniskirt, but he seems to be stealing glances at Vanessa whenever possible.

He walks over to her and taps her on the shoulder to get her attention.

"Oh, hey Ferb. Is Phineas alright?" She asks as she turns toward him.

"Yeah, but I think I'm going to call it a night and head home." He knows she's surprised by the look on her face. He doesn't blame her. This is the first time he's ever gotten drunk and not stayed the night with her.

"Do you want a ride?" She asks. He knows she'll give him the ride no problem, but he also knows that she'd rather spend the night trying to get her boyfriend back.

"I think I'd rather walk it off, and it's cool if you get back with him." He says shrugging. He knows she doesn't need his permission, but he also knows that she'll feel better if she has it.

"Thanks Ferb." She says before kissing his cheek. "Good luck." She says, knowing by the look in his eyes that he'll need it.

He makes a weak attempt to smile before making his way through the crowd and out the door, into the cool night.

He begins the walk back to his house, it's not a far walk or a short one, it's somewhere in the middle. As he walks he begins to sober a little.

He wonders if Phineas knows what's wrong with him, or if he remains baffled. It's hard to tell. Phineas has never been good at discerning feelings where he was involved.

The night air is cold as he pulls his worn brown leather jacket closer to his frame. He almost wishes he had accepted Vanessa's offer for a ride, but he has a feeling he won't be walking for long.

As if on cue a very familiar car pulls up to him. It's his, with Phineas at the wheel, driving with a remote control, as not to break the law by driving without a licensed adult, or at least Ferb, in the passenger seat.

When the car stops Ferb opens the passenger side door and climbs in, shutting the door behind him. He welcomes in the heat that the car is cranking out, and allows Phineas to begin driving again in silence.

The ride home isn't awkward as much as it is tense. Neither boy really knows how to start this conversation, and Ferb just really doesn't want to have it at all. So instead if talking the boys ride home in silence, barley sparing a glance at the other. Once they reach their house Phineas pulls the car into the garage and closes the door behind him, leaving himself and Ferb swallowed by the darkness.

Phineas shuts off the car before he turns on the car lights and turns toward Ferb, who is taking off his seat-belt.

Phineas follows suit, but doesn't move his hand toward the handle. Ferb doesn't either.

They spend a good deal of time just staring at each other before Phineas speaks.

"Just tell me what's wrong." He says softly.

"I don't know if I can." Ferb replies back.

"No, you don't know if you want to." Phineas says looking down at his knee.

"It's not an easy thing to say." He says before giving the red heads knee a squeeze.

Phineas looks back up into the dark grey of Ferb's eyes. "It's about me."

"Isn't everything?" Ferb knows it sounds like an insult, and he knows he's feeling a little bitter about the situation, but he's not trying to be cruel. He doesn't want to upset Phineas when he knows he's just trying to help.

He never wants to upset Phineas.

Ferb can tell that Phineas took it as a jab, but the smaller boy keeps his jaw set. "I can't do anything if you don't tell me."

"Maybe I don't want you to do anything." Ferb mumbles looking down at his own knee.

"Then why are you drinking?" Phineas asks. Ferb doesn't answer. "You're starting to scare me Ferb; I just want to help."

"You can't help." Ferb says not looking up.

"How do you know, when you won't even let me try?" He asks as he raises Ferb's chin to look at him. "What are you so afraid to tell me?"

It's a good question, and luckily Ferb's still in a philosophical mood. Why is he afraid? He's in love with his step-brother, who he's lived with since he was five. They refer to each other's parents as mom and dad. They're practically blood related.

Those are facts though. Those aren't what he's scared of.

What would happen if he told Phineas?

Rejection? Probably.

Hatred? Never.

Awkwardness? Most definitely.

Is there anything else? Perhaps a decrease in time spent together, maybe their parents would find out, but that's not likely. They've kept a childhoods worth of secrets from their parents.

So he's afraid of rejection, awkwardness, and perhaps less time with Phineas. It sounds stupid now.

"It seems trivial now." He says. He knows Phineas understands that he had to think about it.

"So tell me." Phineas says looking into his eyes.

"I love you." He says it without doubt because he has none. He says it like he's talking about the weather. It's simple fact, so he says it as such.

Phineas stares at him as if he's waiting. When Ferb doesn't say anything else he speaks.

"I love you too. You can tell me." Phineas answers and Ferb actually considers knocking the boys head against the car window.

"No, you- you- idiot! How- Agg!" Ferb screams as he grasps his head in his hands.

"What?" Phineas asks looking around as though he's missed something.

"You just have to make it bloody cliché don't you?" Ferb asks as he glares at Phineas. "Will you understand if I read some stupid arse poetry about how your eyes are like pools of sapphires? Will that clear things up?" Ferb asks bitterly.

Phineas looks even more confused.

"You know what? Fine, let's be cliché, but as far as I'm concerned I have your full consent to do this." And with that Ferb grabbed Phineas behind his head and pulled him in for a dramatic kiss.

It was fierce and hot as Ferb dipped Phineas down to get the best possible angle. He kisses Phineas as though he is trying to beat out every romance movie kiss that has ever been filmed.

He swears if nothing else, this will be the best first kiss Phineas will ever experience.

When Ferb finally pulls away, he hears Phineas gasp for breath.

"Oh." He says between pants.

"Oh?" Ferb asks. "Bloody hell Phin, I give you the best kiss you'll ever have and all I get is oh? I kiss my brother, and all I get is oh?" He's a little more than frustrated. He's gets slight mood swings when he's drunk.

"Step-brother-" Phineas starts to correct, but Ferb cuts him off.

"Step-brother?" Ferb asks.

"Yeah, we aren't actually related-"

"I _know_ that, but this is the first time you've ever acted like there's a difference." Ferb clarifies.

"You kissed me; it'd be weird if there wasn't one." Phineas says as though it answers everything.

"So it wasn't weird then?" Ferb asks to clarify.

"No, it was… really nice actually." Phineas says as he runs his hand across the back of his neck.

Ferb grins and wiggles his eyebrows. Phineas lightly chuckles.

"If that's all you had to say, then why didn't you just tell me?" Phineas asks.

"I don't know. It seemed like a bigger deal in my head." Ferb says shrugging.

"Being drunk probably doesn't help." Phineas replies looking at Ferb in a disapproving way.

"Not really. I don't think I'll be drinking much more anyway. I think I'm past the drinking my pain away phase."

"And you call me cliché?" Phineas asks with a raised brow.

"Let's not talk about it until I'm sober." Ferb says with a chuckle. "Though I meant it when I said I love you."

"I know, and I can't say I meant it any less." Phineas says with a smile.

"You love me like that too?" Ferb asks to clarify.

"We'll talk when you're sober." Phineas says before squeezing his hand.

Ferb smirks.

"Then aid me to our room since you're so eager to help." Ferb says confidently.

Phineas smiles as he makes his way over to help Ferb. Hopefully there will be no more drunken nights.

And hopefully Ferb can be Phineas' last first kiss, in addition to the best.


End file.
